You might live in the north if....

An ever growing collection of various observations from those of us living in the north :)

1)   Going to the store is the highlight of your day
2)   -40 degrees is the new +10
3)   You call the Municipal 3 times then yell "Mother$@#%*$! sewage!!!!" (possibly happens on a regular basis)
4)   It takes 4 teachers with University degrees to figure out how an Ikea can-opener works
5)   You have to crawl over the tundra to get to school
6)   You automatically know that a Honda is a four-wheeler
7)   Not flushing is actually acceptable due to water shortages
8)   Getting your groceries is like reliving Christmas
9)   You can exclaim, "Holy *&*^ it's cold!" at least 280 days of the year
10) Being asked if you are a 'ghost' by a kid at the store because you are so white is normal
11) It's perfectly normal if you wake up to your entire house swaying from the wind
12) You have created a special knock that differs from those of the carvers
13) You can walk across town in 25 minutes but you still find an excuse not to
14) You can start a rumour and it'll get back to you 5 minutes later, sometimes with crazy changes
15) You regularly order Febreeze to fight the foul odours from the bowels of your students
16) You end up doing your laundry at school
17) You will be able to slide from school all the way to your house....possibly without a running start
18) You realize that you can do anything, then you do it
19) You could end every sentence with "Welcome to (____insert name of community____)" followed by a chuck and smile and know that there is some truth to it
20) Teachers are the last to find out what is going on and then we are expected to have a witty answer
21) When you get calls from Solo Mobile and have to explain that cell phones don't work up here
22) Jehovah's witnesses can't visit, but they sure call!
23) Tu peut manger chaque repas avec un tuque sur ta tete!
24) You can experience all 4 seasons depending which window you are looking out of
25) You are utterly confused when you try to open the door to your house with your classroom key
26) Tu sais que tu vis dans le Nord quand la seule sortie scolaire de l'année est d'aller glisser sur la coline au coin de la rue
27) You have to adjust the projector in your house for movie night because your house is lopsided
28) Your kids leave during an anti-smoking speech to go smoke
29) Your house smells like poop when sewage removal comes
30) When you download a Fart application for your IPod to retaliate against your students
31) You know that if you are flying home from another community you will get there...eventually
32) You have had a parent bring ammunition to school for their child
33) When it takes longer for you to get dressed to go outside than it does to get dressed in the morning
34) You have ever found yourself wearing a parka and a flower lei at the same time
35) The entire town (with the exception of the school) has shut down because everyone has gone fishing
36) You have more winter socks and mittens than any other pieces of clothing
37) You can tell the difference between a snow-machine and Honda by sound alone
38) If you have ever sat outside your house in delight watching the Aurora Borealis dance across the sky
39) You have seen fellow teachers slice open a seal in the school lobby for a school activity
40) Movies and TV shows are like gold for trade purposes
41) You have ever had someone come to your door with an unidentified animal skin telling you "Good price"
42) The school has been closed for a blizzard in May
43) School announcements come in 3 languages and take about 15 mins on the PA system
44) You have seen repair men thaw out your frozen furnace with a blowtorch inside your house
45) You attend the May 24 weekend bonfire in a parka and snow pants
46) The alarm goes off at the school because the building in too cold, in JUNE.
47) The teachers are all wearing fleece to teach because the school is too cold, in JUNE.
48) You have watched a sunset at midnight and the northern lights an hour later.
49) You have helped someone move in -50C temps using hand sleds to push boxes through the snow.
50) You carry pepper spray just in case you run across unfriendly animals on a walk